HOW ONE SHOULD DEAL WITH DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM
It is ok to get criticized over something. Like your last scores at Bizzo Casino. But this criticism has to be constructive. If it is not, here are some pieces of advice to not let it close to you. To shut down destructive comments, a few experts advise asking yourself the following questions before making a biting remark:
Does this comment help our customers?
Does this comment help our company?
Does this comment help the person I’m talking to?
Does this comment help the person I’m talking about?
If the answer is “No” – simply refrain from making the comment.
IT WON’T WORK ANYWAY
The phrase “Let me explain why this won’t work” or the variant “The only problem with this is that …” are used by executives to signal to others that they are professionally and intellectually superior to them. Probably everyone knows such people who are simply not capable of seeing the positive, but only criticize. This species focuses on the negative sides of a proposal and picks it apart with relish instead of listening first.
Better: Pay attention to how often such know-it-all phrases cross your lips. Do you have a tendency to be negative? Then forbid yourself to use this formulation! It is also valuable to ask yourself: How often does someone on my team come to me with helpful suggestions without me asking for them? How often does a team member knock on my door and sit down with me to chat a bit or let me know about developments that might be of interest to me? Rather infrequently? Then this could be an indication that you are prone to negativity.
REFUSE TO PAY TRIBUTE
Many successful people become high achievers because they focus exclusively on themselves, on their career, their performance, their progress. But there is just a difference between a high performer and a leader. Successful people become great leaders when they learn to shift the focus from themselves to others. And that includes giving due credit to the team’s performance:
It is suggested a simple routine: Write down the names of all your employees and go through that list of names twice a week from now on, say Wednesday morning and Friday afternoon. Consider, “Have any of these people done something for which I should give them credit?” If the answer is yes, reach out and briefly express your appreciation – in person, in a phone call, by email, or in a note. If the answer is no, do nothing: the point of this exercise is not to feign false appreciation.
If you do not listen, you send a whole series of negative signals to your counterpart, such as, “I don’t care about you.” “I don’t understand you.” “You’re wrong.” “You’re stupid.” “You’re wasting my time.” Many do not listen properly because they are impatient – and think they know everything anyway. He is seen by managers impatiently yelling, “Come to the last slide!” during employee presentations. What triggers this rude behavior is obvious: Employees eventually start looking for a new boss at another company.
Better: As soon as you catch yourself mentally or literally drumming your fingers while someone is talking to you, “Stop it immediately! Avoid signaling impatience to your counterpart. Engage with what the other person is saying.